Unconditional Love Parenting

Thinking today about the culture many of us live in, where striving for success and achievement is the daily and future goal. Not everyone has such privilege and the striving to get through the day with food to eat and shelter and other basic necessities is reality. ‘Pressure to Succeed’  has got me thinking lately about how this affects my relationship with my kids, who are teens now. Parenting teens is epic, everyone knows that throughout history. I was a teen and my survival of those years was no joke. I am muddling through as a parent, and a lot of the time now, I feel sad, frustrated, hurt, scared, as well as proud, excited, supportive. My teens are terrific, I offer them unconditional love, I support them, guide them, educate them. I also yell at them, scold them, swear on occasion‚ I watch them make good and bad decisions, watch them fall down and get back up again. I often think of all the parents who have a child that has died from illness, injury, accident, suicide, violence.. as a nurse I have witnessed it. I am deeply sad and empathetic. I remind myself daily to smile at the mess they are making, to let go of my anger more quickly, to give lots of hugs. I am acutely aware that so much attention and praise is given to kids who Achieve in academics, in sports, in activities, in performance, in becoming money makers, in being popular. Of course I agree that these are all terrific and paths to bright futures. I just also wish it was the MOST common thing in the world for parents to have the collective energy of gratitude and encouragement for the existence and simple WELLBEING of spirit and emotional health of our kids. Attention to the person who is existing within or behind the achievement. Biographies are written often by those who have achieved great success‚ with the perspective of having all that talent, opportunity, achievement yet without the feeling of simply being loved for who they were by parents or caregivers, is described as the hardest aspect of life. This is not earth- shattering information, many people I know and respect fully embrace and practice this attitude with their families. I just believe it would be amazingly helpful, for more of us to speak about and share more about the simplicity of our existence as human beings. I am noticing my language surrounding all of this with my kids, and practicing using words that reflect true appreciation for their existence in my life.