Next Level

Next Level
Shopping for next size up in clothes. When you realize how uncomfortable most of the clothes you are wearing feel. For me -Bras , and jeans are the most noticeable. That you mostly ignore the pain of bra straps digging in to your skin.. and the red marks of a WAY too tight waistband..has been 9 months of that feeling and the underlying reason of not buying the next size is because of the Cemented in Your Brain REASON “ I am going to shrink my body down in the next few weeks, month, , before that holiday or event..I have a closet of clothes at size( x,y,z) -I am a FAILURE if that does not happen” ..Brain says just continue to suffer …Also brain decides to bring into the mindset the 100 other times in life that you accomplished said shrinking size and did sustain for some time, and actually were very happy in the smaller physical version self.. START this minute the deprivation of food.
WHOA. Shopping for clothes can trigger a lifetime of this thinking. I experienced it today actually…and tried really hard at the outset to prepare and alter the process… I was consciously observing my brain activity throughout the whole thing. It was f**&^%$# hard. I called my best friend and told her what I was experiencing and my dismay that for the all effort and attention I have been dedicating to my change in behavior and thoughts surrounding my body image , here I was filled with self loathing and disgust. She listened so well, and agreed that everyone does this…which brought me back to these words to share with you, because, that’s the whole point of Abbastanza- we need to create the change in thinking.. and pass it on to everyone we love.
NOOOO MORE – to actually look in the mirror and see the larger size body and say. It’s ok , I still love you . I don’t really HATE you. And why don’t you go shopping and buy a size that fits today. Make it OK.